My Top 5 Mama Myths

Most soon-to-be first time moms live in a fantasy world.  I don't say that be harsh, I say that because I lived there, too.  And then my child was born and I realized a lot of things I read/heard/saw were lies.  LIES.  Now, granted, I don't really feel like a full-fledged mom just yet.  My child is only 9 months old and I feel like I've still got a lot to learn and miles to go, but I wanted to share some common "myths" or misconceptions of being a mama.

1. "You'll lose all that baby weight just by breast-feeding!"
This has to be the biggest lie I have heard ever.  In the history of lies.  I have been breast-feeding for 9 months now and I don't feel like a single, tiny milli-pound (it's a thing...) has come off my body due to nursing.  In fact, I have never eaten more in my whole life.  I can remember in the first weeks of nursing, I literally ate as much as my husband.  My grown husband.  Who often spends his day doing manual labor and does crossfit and who is literally impossible to keep full.  That is the teenage boy monster I had turned into.  I ate. And drank gallons of water. And I ate some more.  Dieting was out of the question.  And I am well aware that you burn up to 500 calories a day--trust me, I felt it, but you also eat those 500 calories because YOU. ARE. SO. HUNGRY.  Have I mentioned the hunger factor?  I get so annoyed when I see celebrities talk about how they lost their baby weight and they say, "Well, I lost the first 20 pounds breastfeeding," and then later to find out they nursed for like a day.  Also, they are liars.  The one thing I have heard from lots of mamas is that the rest of their weight came off AFTER they stopped nursing.   Just letting you know, mamas to be, don't be like me.

2.  "You're going to be a stay at home mom?  Won't you be bored?"
This wasn't so much a lie that I believed, but that most people around me believed.  I am here to say that being a stay at home mama is the opposite of boring.  Every single moment of my day is planned and full of babytime adventure...and I just have ONE child.  My sweet lamb is on a schedule.  As a former elementary school teacher and a self proclaimed control freak, Mama loooooves a schedule and routine.  Therefore our days are carefully planned.  Oliver takes 2 naps a day and I treasure those 2 naps because when that boy is awake, it is all. systems. GO!  Especially now that we are mobile.  Even in the early days before mobility, it was never boring.  My advice to any soon to be stay at mama to fight the boredom blues (though I doubt they will be there) is find a routine and consistency.  I don't care what anyone says, children love structure, even babies.  He is happier because of it. More of this subject later...

3. "Any baby can sleep through the night if you're doing everything right."
Ok, this is something I had to learn for myself, but not through my own child.  I will admit, for the most part, Oliver is a great sleeper.  He takes after his daddy in that respect.  When that boy is ready for bed, he is ready for bed.  I fully anticipate him being the 2 year old who puts himself down for naps/bedtime/etc. because that's how Ben was (and still is).  We have our moments of sleepless nights due to sickness or teething or general cranky-pants syndrome, but for the most part, the kid is a breeze.  However, there are mamas who aren't so lucky.  I have seen women who do everything right by their child.  They swaddle, they shush, they start solids, they cry it out, they rock to sleep, they don't rock to sleep, everything, and still, their child is not a great sleeper.  My arrogance in that area went right out the window.  Every kid is different, and sometimes, it doesn't matter what you do, they're just going to do what they want to do, and eventually, you guys will work it out together.  Leave your preconceived sleep notions at the door, mamas, and follow your babies lead.  The rest will fall into place.

4.  "You're having kids, so there goes your social life."
Ok, sure, in a way this is true, but it's still annoying.  However, it all depends on what you mean by social life.  I don't feel like Ben and I get out any less.  Our outings have definitely changed, though.   Exciting times for us now is a trip to the grocery store, a walk around the neighborhood, a trip to the park, going to hang out at a friends house, or going to get yogurt or a Steel City Pop (yuuums).  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Yes you need to make time for you and your spouse, but having kids doesn't mean you don't have a life; the definition of life has just changed, that's all.  Learn to enjoy life's simple pleasures and everything will be fine.

5.  "We're going to wait until we're financially ready to have kids."
Sister, give it up.  If that's what you're waiting for, you will never have kids.  Should you be financially responsible to have kids? Umm, duh.  But what does "financially ready" even mean?  It's a very relative term that can mean lots of different things.  Do you want to eliminate debt?  Have a certain amount in the bank?  Pay off your house?  Your car?  Student loans?  Don't be afraid to take a step out.  No matter what you do, you will never be "ready" for kids.  You just need to accept that.  Mine is 9 months old and some days I still don't feel ready (don't call social services just yet...we're figuring it out). What you really need to ask yourself is are you ready to take on the whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities that come with being a parent.  Being financially ready doesn't make being a parent any easier, nothing does.  As long as you are ready to love and squeeze on that little nugget, you'll figure the rest out.

What about you?  What are some myths/misconceptions/lies you believed?  Or were you perfect? ;)

Meanwhile, how cute is my kid?

Playing...what he does best.

Grass...it feels weird.

All little boys play in their dogs crate...right?