A Mother's Day Tribute

Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday.  Every person on the planet, in some way or another, is affected by Mother's Day.  Either you have a mama or you are a mama (and sometimes both).  I wanted to take some time to address all the ways motherhood has affected our lives.

I know I am a little biased, but I think I have the best mama in the world.  Words cannot even express how much I love her.  Obviously I love both of my parents more than words can say, but this post is about mamas, so there you go.  My mother has sacrificed more than I will ever know or could ever understand.  She didn't finish college in order to get married and have babies.  She stayed home to raise us and only went back to work when we were old enough to be a little more independent.  She even went back to college taking night courses when I was 6 years old, while working as a PE aide at our school,  and to this day I don't know how she did it.  I remember being a lazy 22 year old college of ed student stressed out with the amount of work put on me during college, but that is nothing compared to taking care of a family on top of that.  She never wavered in her responsibilities and we never did without.  She went on to become one of the most fabulous 1st grade teachers I have ever known (and I know most of you will agree with me).  She thought outside the box (and still does) and she has ALWAYS done what is right for kids, no matter what.  She stayed late and worked on weekends, but we never felt any less important to her.  She has worked from being just an aide to now being the principal of one of the best schools in Mobile County.  I could not be more proud of her.  She had a goal and had faith the Lord would bring her to it, and He did.  Maybe not as quickly as she would've liked, but she made it.  She is hilarious and wonderful and tells the best stories.  She loves all four of us so well and is maybe an even better grandmother to her four grandchildren than she is a mama (though I don't know HOW that is possible ;) ).  I am beyond grateful for you and your life, Honey.  You are my role model and inspiration to show me that anything is possible.  I love you.

There have been so many motherly figures in my life, I honestly can't even begin to count them.  The one that sticks out most in my mind is my Mamaw.  I miss that woman every. single. day.  Even now as I type this my eyes fill with tears because I wish she was here.  She was the only grandmother I ever knew.  I so wish I could call her sometimes when I am cooking something to ask her how she did it or how to get out a stain or what to do when Oliver is _______.  She was so wise and wonderful and full of personality.  She worked hard.  Her and my mother run of a close race for being the hardest working women I have ever known.  I guess we know where Honey gets it from. ;)  My heart hurts that my babies will never know my Mamaw.  She would've loved them so well and sang to them and rocked them on her patio and told them all kinds of stories.  I was blessed beyond measure to grow up on the same street as her.  Memories of pop ices, pickles, shelling peas, tiny glasses of Coke, and cornbread fill my thoughts constantly.  I miss that woman and will love her always.

I have also been blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law (is that a thing?) who have loved me so well!  They welcomed me into their family like I was one of their own and I am forever grateful for that.  I can't wait to make memories with them and watch my babies love them the way I loved my grandmother and great-grandmother.  Thank you, sweet ladies, for being wonderful. 

This holiday never goes by that I don't think about that mamas who are without.  The mamas who are missing babies that are no longer with us, the mamas who are missing babies they never got a chance to hold, the mamas who long for a baby of their own, and the mamas who miss their own mamas.  I can't even imagine.  I truly don't know what any of you are going through, but there is someone in my life who fits every single one of those descriptions.  How does one move on from the death of a child?  Or a miscarriage?  The only answer is Christ.  We have to trust we serve a loving, just, and merciful God who has taken those sweet babies in His arms and is loving on them every single day in a better way that we ever could.  I know it doesn't make their absence any easier, but it helps me to grieve for you believing that truth.  How does a woman celebrate a day she so longs to be a part of more than anything in this world?  A woman who longs for a baby, but her womb stays empty.  A woman who waits on an adoption she feels like will never be finalized.  Again, I can only point to Christ.  He has something so magnificent planned for you.  He will give you what you need.  He will meet you where you are, if you will only go with Him.  Never give up, mama.  Something good is coming.  How does a woman celebrate this holiday wishing her own mama was here?  I always think about my mother on this day.  How her heart must ache with no mother on earth here to love.  How much she must want to pick up the phone or send her card or buy her a gift, but can't.  And again I say, you celebrate it knowing they are celebrating this day with their King.  I know my Mamaw loved the Lord with all her heart, mind, and strength and knew Jesus in a way I only hope I'll know him, so there is no doubt in my mind where she is today.  I hope you can rest in knowing that truth is real in your life.  That the mothers who aren't here with us this Sunday are rejoicing with their Father.

I love being a mother.  It is hard and wonderful at the same time.  It is the job I feel I was destined to do.  It is thankless and full of sacrifice, but the thing is, you never think twice about it.  No meal or drink is your own anymore, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  I am beyond blessed.  Thank you, Lord, for all the mamas in my life.  For the women who have guided me and shaped me into the mother I am today.

What cutie.   I swear he loves me...

My Top 5 Mama Myths

Most soon-to-be first time moms live in a fantasy world.  I don't say that be harsh, I say that because I lived there, too.  And then my child was born and I realized a lot of things I read/heard/saw were lies.  LIES.  Now, granted, I don't really feel like a full-fledged mom just yet.  My child is only 9 months old and I feel like I've still got a lot to learn and miles to go, but I wanted to share some common "myths" or misconceptions of being a mama.

1. "You'll lose all that baby weight just by breast-feeding!"
This has to be the biggest lie I have heard ever.  In the history of lies.  I have been breast-feeding for 9 months now and I don't feel like a single, tiny milli-pound (it's a thing...) has come off my body due to nursing.  In fact, I have never eaten more in my whole life.  I can remember in the first weeks of nursing, I literally ate as much as my husband.  My grown husband.  Who often spends his day doing manual labor and does crossfit and who is literally impossible to keep full.  That is the teenage boy monster I had turned into.  I ate. And drank gallons of water. And I ate some more.  Dieting was out of the question.  And I am well aware that you burn up to 500 calories a day--trust me, I felt it, but you also eat those 500 calories because YOU. ARE. SO. HUNGRY.  Have I mentioned the hunger factor?  I get so annoyed when I see celebrities talk about how they lost their baby weight and they say, "Well, I lost the first 20 pounds breastfeeding," and then later to find out they nursed for like a day.  Also, they are liars.  The one thing I have heard from lots of mamas is that the rest of their weight came off AFTER they stopped nursing.   Just letting you know, mamas to be, don't be like me.

2.  "You're going to be a stay at home mom?  Won't you be bored?"
This wasn't so much a lie that I believed, but that most people around me believed.  I am here to say that being a stay at home mama is the opposite of boring.  Every single moment of my day is planned and full of babytime adventure...and I just have ONE child.  My sweet lamb is on a schedule.  As a former elementary school teacher and a self proclaimed control freak, Mama loooooves a schedule and routine.  Therefore our days are carefully planned.  Oliver takes 2 naps a day and I treasure those 2 naps because when that boy is awake, it is all. systems. GO!  Especially now that we are mobile.  Even in the early days before mobility, it was never boring.  My advice to any soon to be stay at mama to fight the boredom blues (though I doubt they will be there) is find a routine and consistency.  I don't care what anyone says, children love structure, even babies.  He is happier because of it. More of this subject later...

3. "Any baby can sleep through the night if you're doing everything right."
Ok, this is something I had to learn for myself, but not through my own child.  I will admit, for the most part, Oliver is a great sleeper.  He takes after his daddy in that respect.  When that boy is ready for bed, he is ready for bed.  I fully anticipate him being the 2 year old who puts himself down for naps/bedtime/etc. because that's how Ben was (and still is).  We have our moments of sleepless nights due to sickness or teething or general cranky-pants syndrome, but for the most part, the kid is a breeze.  However, there are mamas who aren't so lucky.  I have seen women who do everything right by their child.  They swaddle, they shush, they start solids, they cry it out, they rock to sleep, they don't rock to sleep, everything, and still, their child is not a great sleeper.  My arrogance in that area went right out the window.  Every kid is different, and sometimes, it doesn't matter what you do, they're just going to do what they want to do, and eventually, you guys will work it out together.  Leave your preconceived sleep notions at the door, mamas, and follow your babies lead.  The rest will fall into place.

4.  "You're having kids, so there goes your social life."
Ok, sure, in a way this is true, but it's still annoying.  However, it all depends on what you mean by social life.  I don't feel like Ben and I get out any less.  Our outings have definitely changed, though.   Exciting times for us now is a trip to the grocery store, a walk around the neighborhood, a trip to the park, going to hang out at a friends house, or going to get yogurt or a Steel City Pop (yuuums).  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Yes you need to make time for you and your spouse, but having kids doesn't mean you don't have a life; the definition of life has just changed, that's all.  Learn to enjoy life's simple pleasures and everything will be fine.

5.  "We're going to wait until we're financially ready to have kids."
Sister, give it up.  If that's what you're waiting for, you will never have kids.  Should you be financially responsible to have kids? Umm, duh.  But what does "financially ready" even mean?  It's a very relative term that can mean lots of different things.  Do you want to eliminate debt?  Have a certain amount in the bank?  Pay off your house?  Your car?  Student loans?  Don't be afraid to take a step out.  No matter what you do, you will never be "ready" for kids.  You just need to accept that.  Mine is 9 months old and some days I still don't feel ready (don't call social services just yet...we're figuring it out). What you really need to ask yourself is are you ready to take on the whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities that come with being a parent.  Being financially ready doesn't make being a parent any easier, nothing does.  As long as you are ready to love and squeeze on that little nugget, you'll figure the rest out.

What about you?  What are some myths/misconceptions/lies you believed?  Or were you perfect? ;)

Meanwhile, how cute is my kid?

Playing...what he does best.

Grass...it feels weird.

All little boys play in their dogs crate...right?