As I write this post, I am less than 48 hours away from having a one year old. INSANITY. I can remember this time so well last year...I was just a few hours away from the beginning stages of labor and my world being forever changed. I love the change. Normally, I am not a fan of change. In fact, I think I may have a legit phobia of it...I swear it has to be a medical condition, BUT I have loved the little change Oliver has brought to my life. However, if I am being real, there are some things from my pre-parent life that, looking back, I would have definitely appreciated a lot more. A lot. Now side note, please don't take this list to mean I don't love or appreciate the precious gift the Lord has given me, because I very much do. Now, in no particular order, they are...
1. Naps
Ok, I have said it before, and I'll say it again, a year into this parenting thing and I still subscribe to the notion "sleep when the baby sleeps" but here's the thing about those sleeps; they're not good. When I finally get O down for a nap and settle down or finish whatever wifely task I was doing and I go to close my eyes just for a little bit, he wakes up. I swear, it's like he can HEAR my eyes closing. It boggles the mind really. Occasionally we will both take a glorious nap at the same time (I'm talking HOURS here, people) but those are rare (for me, not for him). I can remember when I was little and my mother telling me "I just want to rest my eyes for a minute, Katie," and I never really understood that concept BUT NOW I GET IT. Mama just wants to rest her eyes, little Ollie. I mean, in college, I could nap with the best of them. I should have minored in Napology, but now I'm the worst. So enjoy those long, luscious naps while you still can because your mind will be filled with checklists and clutter before you know it.
2. Freedom to come and go
I don't know if you know this, but you can't just leave whenever you want when you have a baby. There is no "Hey, I'm going out with my ladies tonight, husband, I'll see you later!" because HEY YOU HAVE A BABY. I mean, you CAN do these things, but it takes like two weeks worth of prior planning. And then you worry. Did I leave enough milk? Did I lay out his PJs? Will he get to sleep without me there? Did they remember to give him his lovey? Drama, drama, drama.
3. Trips to the Grocery Store
I can remember pre-Oliver Ben and I used to go and do the grocery shopping in the evenings together. It was cute, really. He was my little list reader and checker and I would go and get all the stuff we needed. It was awesome. Now that I am staying at home, I decided that grocery shopping would be my responsibility. Not so hard, right? Wrong. When Oliver was little, shopping was easy. I would strap him into the Ergo and we were good to go. Now, he has decided, "Hey I want to grab everything and also I want to stand up in the cart while it's moving and then also wave to everyone. I'm a baby, deal with it." In order to prevent this, I find myself talking to him the whole time. Not about anything in particular, just the color of the fruit, what is on the aisle, you know, boring stuff. Now all this talking makes me forget what I'm looking for which makes my trips seem to take twice as long, but hey, at least they're entertaining.
4. Basically Trips Anywhere
Tying into my number 3 would be trips anywhere. Bringing a child with you somewhere requires a small closet of supplies: diapers, wipes, bottles (if you need them), snacks, food, toys, sippy cups, books, a change of clothes (if needed), bibs, loveys, blankets, your sanity...you get the picture. I remember people giving us the advice to go out to eat when the baby is teeny tiny and all they do is sleep because it's so much easier then and THEY WERE RIGHT. Now, I don't mind going out to eat with Oliver now because he can participate in the meal, but that awkward in between time when he could kinda sit up but wasn't eating solids or table food was pretty much the pits. He would cry. He would whine. So we quickly learned that going out to eat was a luxury we just didn't really feel like dealing with...and I have a pretty easy baby. And going out of town?? Our little accord is packed so full that poor Talulah has to sit on top of bags or on the floorboard in the backseat just to have a place to sit...bless her. She should be on a whole new list of "Things I don't take care of as good as I used to now that I have a baby." Sorry, T. :(
5. Eating a Warm Meal
This is pretty self explanatory and something I feel is just going to get worse and worse the more babies we have. One tradition I always loved growing up was that my family always ate dinner together. We were never a eat in front of the TV or sit in the living room family. In fact, that TV wasn't really allowed on during dinner time. So, something we have started to implement now that O is eating solids is family meal time. It's one of my favorite times of day (awww, I know, I'm sweet), but meal time is a lot of work for mamas. I mean, by the time I fix everyone's plates, get silverware/drinks out, cut up O's food in to tiny non-choking pieces, place them on his tray, go back and get the napkins I forgot for the 12th time, put a bib on him, go back and fill up the sippy cup I forgot to fill when I was getting our drinks, my meal is no longer that "just from the oven hotness" that we all love. It's "hey I've been sitting here a minute but I'm still good" warm. I suppose I should enjoy that warmth now, while I can shouldn't I?
6. Relaxation
I love to read, especially to relax. Since I've had Oliver, I can't remember the last time I read a book. I mean, a whole book. Just for fun. I've started books, but haven't been so good at finishing them. Now, I will say that occasionally during nap time, I will snag an episode of whatever rotten TV show I'm into (right now it's Call the Midwife and Nashville...don't judge me), but I'm always thinking about the things I could be doing instead, so I'm not fully relaxed, but then again, who really is? Also, I used to LOVE (and if you know me, you know this is true) laying out by the pool (especially the Club MTV pool at my old apartment...RIP) and getting a lovely tan. Now fear of skin cancer (bring on the 50spf) and a child have prevented such leisurely activities. I do still get to go to the pool and I have a decent tan on my arms and shoulders, but legs are just as pasty white as when summer began. This would be because they're always in the pool and not lounging around like I used to...ahhh, memories.
7. Doing things with BOTH hands
Mamas are the queens of multi-tasking. No one ever said that was a good thing, but we get the job done, that's for sure. Cooking dinner while holding a baby is not an easy task and neither is chopping the ingredients for said dinner but sometimes a mamas gotta do what a mamas gotta do. You would think brushing your teeth one handed would be pretty simple too, but you use that other hand way more than you think you do. Now, if Oliver is having a particularly needy day/week, I'll just put him in the Ergo. Whoever invented baby carriers/wraps is a genius and I want to kiss them on the lips. Some days I really don't know what I would do without it. If you are a mama or are going to be a mama and you aren't sure about this concept of "wearing" a baby, DO IT. And do it often. The end.
8. Adult Decor
So, when you walk into my house, there is no doubt that a baby lives here. From the brightly colored activity jumper to the toys all around, you know a child is lurking somewhere. When Oliver was really little, it seriously looked like a baby had thrown up in our house. Swings, bouncy seats, pack n plays, activity jumpers, and johnny jump ups filled our house. Here's the thing...why can't they make baby stuff in nice calming colors? Ok, I'm an educator, I know why, but still. I'm not the world's best homemaker, but it would be a whole lot cooler if all their little contraptions and gadgets fit with the generally color scheme of my house. First world problems? You bet.
9. Uninterrupted Conversations
I know this one will only get worse. "Don't touch...now what were you saying?" is already a phrase I am using far more often than I ever thought I would. I know in order to be a good mom, and to do my job well, I have to pay attention to my child. To pay attention to my child means I cannot pay as much attention to adult conversations as I once did. This does not mean you can't have them (and you should...often...and about things not pertaining to children, if you can), but those conversations, like those grocery trips, just might take twice as long. Such is life though, right?
10. The Freedom to Put any Object Anywhere I Want
Those scissors you were using or that remote you never thought about or that glass of water on the edge of the table are all the perfect toy to a one year old. I mean, everything in our home now is basically sitting 3 feet or higher because O is a very curious and inquisitive little soul. He's a genius, he can't help it. He wants to know about EVERYTHING. I even tried giving him an old remote that we don't use so that he could play with it and leave ours alone, but he's too smart to know that mom and dad never use that one and he only wants to the one that we use. This is what the stuff of academic legends are made of, people. He is literally OBSESSED with the dogs food and water bowl so much so that we can only put them down when he is sleeping...and sometimes we even forget to do that. Again, Talulah, your parents are the worst. Please forgive us.
I'm sure there are so many more things that I didn't enjoy to their fullest in my pre-baby life, but honestly, it's okay. Even the things I listed, I wouldn't trade for anything. It's all about perspective, I suppose. Ben and I have been blessed from above with one of the happiest, sweetest, silliest, most inquisitive little baby boys around. He truly gets more fun every single day. We are not lucky; we are blessed. Being a mom is one of the funnest things I've been given the honor of doing. I get to help raise a person. Sometimes I can't believe the Lord would trust me with such a task! I get to watch him learn new things and take his first steps and say his first words and that is something that I wouldn't trade for anything. This past year has been tough, but it has been my favorite time in my life. It is the most responsible and adult-like I've ever had to be, but I'm completely fine with that. Everyone has to grow up at some point, and I guess I'm on my way. ;)
